SHOP MY WARDROBE

NEGATIVE SELF TALK

Lush Unicorn Horn

Don't know about you, but I'm such a victim of my own mind- I over think a lot, over analyze situations and always come to irrational conclusions that end up making me feel low and therefore have a negative impact on my actions. I am so harsh on myself, I'm like, my own bully. I don't know if I'm this way because I was bullied during my school years, or just because I'm just very unhappy about the who I am. (Social media is probably a lot of the problem too, I know.) Constantly comparing myself to everyone and everything everyone else does, I can always praise other people- but when it comes to myself it seems all I can do is pick out the flaws.

How do you 'talk to yourself?'
Chances are, you would never talk to someone else the way you talk to yourself. How many times a day do you say something (internally,) about yourself that is negative, now compare that to how many negative things you said about someone else today. Today you've probably said at least one nice thing to somebody, even if you haven't said it, you've probably walked down the street and thought 'wow she's pretty,' 'her outfits nice,' 'she's got such a good bum.' Have you complimented yourself today? Probably not. It's said but this is just the norm, you probably don't recognize anything wrong with the way you talk to yourself everyday- but if you could physically see those things and watch them back at the end of every week I bet you'd be shocked...

So give yourself a break, 
how often are you praising yourself for doing something well, for doing a good deed, for getting out of bed on a bad day, for doing your make up well, for looking good, anything? Think about the little things too, little achievements lead to bigger ones. 

You need to become mindful of your self talk, 
mindfulness has become a pretty big thing over the past couple of years, and there's now so many apps and books and pieces of writing and activities that allow you to practice it. To be mindful of 'self talk,' is to observe your thoughts and feelings, when they occur, why they occur, how you get rid of them, just take a step away from your auto pilot thinking process and focus on each moment as it happens, give each your undivided attention in order to put the pieces together.

When you've got a grip on your negative thinking patterns,
observe them. Notice your bad habits and acknowledge them, for instance if after getting ready every morning you look in the mirror and think 'ugh I look horrible,' keep a hold of that. And notice that it's just a thought, it's just a bad habit- it's not a fact, it's not true. You are having a thought that you look bad. Practice focusing on these facts with every negative thought that arrives in your mind. Stay aware, be mindful of your inner critic, focus on the moment, feel the feelings, it's not always easy, but don't avoid it.

Imagine this...
Just for one day this week, go a whole day imagining that there's a second you standing next to you all day. When you're sitting doing your make up in the morning and something goes wrong, imagine that second you is sitting beside you- would you turn around and shout at them and tell them they're ugly and useless compared to everyone else? No. But you'll happily tell yourself that without a second thought. When you get out of the shower and look in the mirror at your body are you going to turn around that person next to you and tell them how fat and disgusting they are? How bad their skin is? How nobody would ever want to see you naked? No, you wouldn't do that. But yet again, you'll say it to yourself, internally or not. And you won't even think about it, because you're stuck in that vicious negative thinking cycle.

We are our own worst enemies and our biggest critic,
you'll probably never be perfect in your own mind, you'll probably never be amazing or clever enough or pretty enough, and striving to think so highly of yourself is probably unrealistic- but we don't need to be so harsh on ourselves, you're doing better than your own mind lets you believe. Modern society has managed to wire our brains into self destruct mode, so take a stand and be mindful of the way you treat yourself.


By the way, you did great today.
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